This year hasn’t been the best. More tension surrounding our problems. I have felt really unsupported at times by family and friends, the very people who should be supporting me. I felt lost, like I wanted to give up. Faced with this situation, I could have given up, but I have kept going against all odds, and still am. The good thing is that at least I have the constant care, love and support of my partner Alfredo. This makes me feel pretty lucky- many people don’t have that love and support of a partner. Feeling supported by him makes me feel my worries and struggles matter- he doesn’t complain that the equipment I require because of my disabilities costs as much as a small car, he doesn’t say he won’t or can’t help me. He doesn’t tell me to grow up and sort my life out. Instead, he always tries to do the best he can for me.
Some people in my past took a negative attitude and I am glad to say I am not in contact with them anymore and don’t wish to be. I am glad I can do small things like apply my makeup although it takes a long time and I often drop the brushes or products and have to have a small clean up operation afterwards with makeup remover to make my look neater. I can brush my teeth although it’s hard with an electric toothbrush. I have proved to myself I can survive outside my parents’ home and that I can be in a long term relationship and be in love. I am proud of my talent for languages and my fluency in Spanish for which I have recieved countless compliments.
These things make me feel great about myself.
I have a lot to give people. I’m caring, a good listener and I make time for people. I have time to send cards and emails and always try to get in touch with those who are important to me whether they do or don’t reciprocate. I show people I am there for them no matter what’s going on in my life and don’t just say I am without showing them.
I have kept writing this year and added three writing projects to my accomplishments list. I have discovered I have more talent for blogging and pinning on Pinterest than I imagined. I have discovered that I am a stronger person and more resilient than I ever imagined and that I don’t necessarily need the support of others to reach writing goals: I write because it’s my passion, and know that with my own hard work I can achieve, and surpass, my own writing goals as well as those set by others. Some of my writing buddies from past National Novel Writing Month events have gone their own way in life. I realise this is a fact of life and that we all have our responsibilities but I really valued them and their support and was hoping to have stayed in touch. Looking back, I realise now that I valued them and their support more than they valued me or mine.
I have seen I am a talented writer who can write in various genres and change genre and style easily and who writes from the heart. To this day, I do my best to improve in my writing craft and be as good as I can be.
I took the chance to do more online courses this year on FutureLearn, and since March I have studied courses in fiction writing, as well as courses related to Geography which is what I studied at University. I have focused on improving the knowledge I have and learning new skills. I have learnt Dutch, about heart health and all about the oceans and climate change. So I feel more prepared in my knowledge about things than I was this time last year.
I really hope that this coming year sees a positive change and the resolution of personal issues my partner and I have been fighting for so long to solve. I would love to not have to worry about housing, for example. I would also like to rekindle old friendships and just have a fantastic year. I hope you all have a fantastic 2016 and that this coming year is what you dreamed it would be!
The Unconditional Body Love series has been great for me, I have found that writing a blog post about my feelings about a different part of my body each month has made me feel even prouder of who I am and it has taught me to love myself more. So, thanks to my amazing friend Rebequita for inviting me to participate in the series- it was a real eye opener for me. I also loved reading about other people’s experiences of, and views about their own bodies.
As a final reminder, I changed blogging platforms and no longer have a Blogger blog, so I’ll be reposting all the Unconditional Body Beautiful entries from earlier in the year from tomorrow onwards so look out for those here!
Have a wonderful day, week and the rest of the year. I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you a very happy Christmas and a happy new year. To all the fellow bloggers in the Unconditional Body abeautiful group, I want to say a huge thanks to you- it has been great blogging with you ladies and reading your stories. You are all amazing! What I will take away from this blogging experience is that you are supportive and encouraging.
Before I did the Unconditional Body Love blog series, I had never before discussed my experiences with my body, or what I love or hate about it in any kind of detail really. It’s not that I didn’t want to share my story, but rather that I needed time to find a way to get my story out there in a way that would be interesting and which would make people want to read about it.
This blog challenge gave me that window of opportunity I was looking for. Through my posts during the last year, I have shown people a new side to me, but one that was always there. I hope that by reading my entries you have learnt more about my life and my body and my feelings about each of those. That you have learnt more about my disabilities too. Things you perhaps did not know or understand or did not know how to ask me about.
If there’s ever another Unconditional Body Beautiful, or similar, blog challenge in the future, you can count me in without a doubt!
Huge hugs and wishing everyone I know and love the best for 2016. As a parting thought, I want to remind you that December is Safe Toys & Gifts Awareness Month. So buy with care, caution and most of all, love!